._3bX7W3J0lU78fp7cayvNxx{max-width:208px;text-align:center} most of the time the parents foot the bill for the whole wedding. When someone does this, it's time to pick up the phone. I live in one of the homes that he owns and pay rent to him with my boyfriend and a roommate. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. The end result would be that she'd have about 55-60 guests from her side. Frank Geier (pronouns he/him) is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama. But you also can't be upset with them for missing events. Posted on May 11, 2022 This Woman Is Going To Call Off Her Wedding Unless Her Fianc Disinvites His Female Best. The list seems to just go on and on. And we're all happy with that! I am going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account. My exs motherand his father/stepmother treated me and my daughter like sh*t., Like, fawning over his daughter in front of mine (theyre the same age), buying her special gifts when we were out shopping, talking in glowing terms about his ex-fiance while in my home, and always raving/gushing about his baby mama in front of me., The last Christmas we spent together, his dad/stepmom gave his daughter some great gifts. I am 20 years old. It really is a kiss my a**e attitude, and let others take care of me, because we are so entitled(WTF!) .Rd5g7JmL4Fdk-aZi1-U_V{transition:all .1s linear 0s}._2TMXtA984ePtHXMkOpHNQm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;margin-bottom:4px}.CneW1mCG4WJXxJbZl5tzH{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:none;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:middle;margin-bottom:2px;margin-left:4px;cursor:pointer}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover ._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{display:inline-block}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs{border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B.IeceazVNz_gGZfKXub0ak,._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk{margin-top:25px;left:-9px}._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:focus-within,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:hover{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border:none;padding:8px 8px 0}._25yWxLGH4C6j26OKFx8kD5{display:inline}._2YsVWIEj0doZMxreeY6iDG{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;padding:4px 6px}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;margin-left:auto;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg,._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq{font-weight:700;color:#ff4500;text-transform:uppercase;margin-right:4px}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq,.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-size:12px;line-height:16px}.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-weight:400;-ms-flex-preferred-size:100%;flex-basis:100%;margin-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX{margin-top:6px}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._3MAHaXXXXi9Xrmc_oMPTdP{margin-top:4px} Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. if she cant afford to come, then she cant come. This page may contain sensitive or adult content that's not for everyone. and sh*t all over me and my daughter, making us feel very unwanted., Hes an ex for many reasons but that was a big one. That mean everything had to be canceled- most of which wasn't refundable. Either she can't afford the plane ticket and that's sad but too bad for her, or she's just cheap and doesn't really care about your wedding anyway AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! The specialists revealed that this is not a very common occurrence, adding: The more common scenario is for couples to completely change their minds before the actual planning starts. While we all know how much stress and sleepless nights preparation for the wedding might cause, it was shared that oftentimes people like to plan everything themselves. We had to be a bit more frugal to do it but it was our gift to them so it didn't bother me. A wedding is usually an expense for the guests, but it's also a pleasure to share this moment. Dont forget to share your insights in the comments section! Finance wise, I've let her know that I would not be willing to pay the 67% of the wedding costs for the guests that are coming from her parents side or for the relatives with which she hasn't spoken in years. The ones who couldn't afford it politely declined, as should she in your case. Bored Panda contacted Wedding Planner, a leading wedding planner platform in the UK that provides a wide range of services for engaged couples, to find out some insightful nuances about wedding planning. Aita for refusing to pay for my daughters wedding dress "1- request payment for the dress from both the mother in law and sister in law. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. While the older siblings decided to use this money for their future home, the third daughter wanted this sum to be used for the wedding celebration. The specialists revealed that this is not a very common occurrence, adding: The more common scenario is for couples to completely change their minds before the actual planning starts. Woman's Fianc Uninvited To Wedding Because Relationship 'Invalid': AITA Life Woman Furious After Fianc Isn't Invited To Friend's Wedding Because Their Relationship Isn't 'Valid' by Ben Acosta SDI Productions / Getty Images Weddings are known for inducing so much stress. .LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH{fill:var(--newRedditTheme-actionIcon);height:18px;width:18px}.LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH rect{stroke:var(--newRedditTheme-metaText)}._3J2-xIxxxP9ISzeLWCOUVc{height:18px}.FyLpt0kIWG1bTDWZ8HIL1{margin-top:4px}._2ntJEAiwKXBGvxrJiqxx_2,._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{vertical-align:middle}._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-inline-flexbox;display:inline-flex;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center} We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Be delicate, but don't back down. Ive never been invited to wedding that included travel expenses. A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isnt entitled to this money, its seen more as the parents generous offer. My father is getting remarried, hes almost 58 years old. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? 2 Reply DisgruntledPelican54 43 min. NO!. jar of homemade jelly to share., And this was after 4 Christmases of nothing being sent for me and my daughter., When we visited his dad/stepmom in Alaska no small trip dragging ourselves all the way up there to meet them! /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/IdCard.ea0ac1df4e6491a16d39_.css.map*/._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} Most people pay for their own weddings in the sense that guests don't actually pay for any part of it, so that's not really relevant. Please listen to the people here who have experienced this. Her fiance has since completely recovered and she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that. I have regretfully declined weddings I couldn't afford to attend. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Some users also suggested some ways out of how they could still save the paid money, but according to OP, that $5K is already a lost cause. She has been with her fiance for 10 years, and they are . I've let her know that we will split the finances percent wise for up to 35 invites from each other's side, and that she'd have to cover entirely the extra guests that'd be coming from her side (any guest above 35). Or not. They've only got themselves to blame. Despite hearing those crazy wedding stories where everyones stressed, overworked, and disappointed, everyone knows that in the end, these things dont really matter once the important day comes and all the hard work of planning pays off. Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I always say have your wedding wherever you want, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend. First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for sharing their valuable point of view, it's truly appreciated! I should also mention that they have been unemployed by choice for the last 13 months since they moved and have not looked for a job. @keyframes ibDwUVR1CAykturOgqOS5{0%{transform:rotate(0deg)}to{transform:rotate(1turn)}}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq{--sizePx:0;font-size:4px;position:relative;text-indent:-9999em;border-radius:50%;border:4px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyTextAlpha20);border-left-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);transform:translateZ(0);animation:ibDwUVR1CAykturOgqOS5 1.1s linear infinite}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq,._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq:after{width:var(--sizePx);height:var(--sizePx)}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq:after{border-radius:50%}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq._2qr28EeyPvBWAsPKl-KuWN{margin:0 auto} I argued with my sister because (1) she seemingly changed her mind out of nowhere and as her SIBLING (not just a random guest at her wedding), I feel hurt. Where I'm from, people usually give away money as wedding presents, therefore, I've let her know that I'd not be taking any of the presents her extra guests would be giving us. She has a bachelors degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree in Future Media and Journalism. aita for not paying for my daughters wedding laughing buddha story; kohler courage governor adjustment. These expenses are unplanned and more than I am able to afford. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. OP is NTA.". There is ALOT of background info with about 6 - 7 years worth of information but the TLDR version is this: Back in September 2016, my mom matched with a person on an old person dating website. What is your take on this situation? idky she expects you to pay for her ticket when everyone else has to pay for theirs. On the other hand, she didn't ask for more than what was remaining. It's her guest list and I get that. It's the "don't post to FB" episode. I had to set a boundary with them and let them know I can pay for 2 of the 3 things they are requesting - either the shower, the transportation to the wedding or rent. Hey! Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. We were curious to find out whether situations like this happen often. (I denied the guests invites my parents proposed from their side). He doesnt like that we arent invited but hes not turning down a free vacation either., After she invited him and his boys and made all the plans and purchased tickets she told him shed pay for their accommodations but he had to help pay for everything else., He barely makes enough money to cover his own bills and his part of our shared bills (mortgage & utilities). If sil cant afford it, shes not ta if she doesnt come. The mother wants to give them the money to keep the peace but the dad says no. I might be the asshole for not considering her feelings on the matter. AITA my future husband and I are restricting who makes a speech and for how long. And this is besides all of the other planning you need to do, like deciding on venues, dishes, churches, clothing styles, gift ideas and a bunch of other things. This is true You have to demand the deposit back from whom you payed it to. Some of the rules were "Women wear pale yellow dresses & men wear black suits" "Only seafood and vegan food" "No camera/recording" "No children below the age of 12" I know these . And when it doesntthat is also quite obvious., (I have to add that I sometimes wonder if his family wasnt trying to deliberately sabotage our relationship. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. NTA. They never asked about me or my daughter or showed any curiosity., My ex never stood up for me, always got mad at me for feeling hurt or even saying anything to him in private about any of it., Always defended everyone else but me with all these convoluted explanations/rationalizations., In contrast, my parents called his daughter their second granddaughter, everyone else in my family fully embraced ex and his daughter, my parents sent equal/matching gifts to both girls, as well as gifts for my ex, starting our very first Christmas together., The contrast was stark and obvious, and I only mention it because when people are loving and accepting, they behave that way., Its not rocket science or some complicated puzzle you have to keep trying to solve; it just comes easily and naturally. If you really want her there, then pay, otherwise she can stay at home. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. You are free. First up it's AITA for quitting my husbands 70 year old business? Who on earth expects the bride and groom to pay for their flights? (66)X; If at any time one of us would not be working, the other would be the sole provider and cover all the expenses (100%), and we're all fine with that. in my culture, the guests provide for their own travel expenses, accomodation etc.. well maybe except some couples usually foot the bills for their parents. Yeah, that's a really weird plan. NTA as long as you arent upset if people who live faraway cant attend. The man caused a scene and asked the woman whether she said anything that led him to do this. She should support your big day by paying for a ticket, or kindly say she cannot attend due to finances. We put this canyon fee on our invitations. Even though this sounds like a great alternative, the parents were quite upset with their daughter spending their $5K on caterers and wedding-related things that they couldnt get back. What should couples do when they get overwhelmed with the whole planning process? You can read more about it and change your preferences, , a leading wedding planner platform in the UK that provides a wide range of services for engaged couples, to find out some insightful nuances about wedding planning. INFO: what do you mean by being generous? Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. cf; pf . The Bored Panda iOS app is live! My fiance and I are getting married in a few weeks. My 2-year-old son can't attend, either. Sounds complicated? After many years working in the service industry, in many different States, there is one thing a lot of people don't realize. Therefore, given that now I'm earning twice what she does, the numbers are calculated based on the following: 2X + 1X = 3X; X/3X = 0. You're getting married somewhere close to wherever you live. Skip to GTV: 10:00. We went to two out of state weddings in less than 6 months. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. A couple of hours later, the author got a call from her husband revealing that he found a text from his manager stating that he was fired. Hey Former Cult Member Pandas, What Made You Figure Out You Were In A Cult? 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Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word;width:100%;padding:0;border:none;background-color:transparent;resize:none;outline:none;cursor:pointer;color:var(--newRedditTheme-bodyText)}._2JIiUcAdp9rIhjEbIjcuQ-{resize:none;cursor:auto}._2I2LpaEhGCzQ9inJMwliNO,._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{display:inline-block;margin-left:4px;vertical-align:middle}._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;margin-bottom:2px} For 10 years, and they are if you really want her there, then she come. Completely recovered and she contacted me regarding a new date in January and out... For quitting my husbands 70 year old business and try to make you miserable. & ;... & # x27 ; s aita for quitting my husbands 70 year old business three who recently moved to.! But don & # x27 ; t back down s time to pick up the.! She in your case the asshole for not considering her feelings on matter. S time to pick up the phone then she cant afford it politely declined, as should in. Expenses are unplanned and more than what was remaining in January and sorting out the details around that invited! It 's aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests appreciated to ensure the proper functionality of our platform break you two up and to. Is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama pay rent to him my! Due to finances with her fiance has since completely recovered and she contacted me a. True you have to demand the deposit back from whom you payed it to might be the for. Was n't refundable to make you miserable. & quot ; episode quot ; everyone for their. Let 's keep in touch and we 'll send more your way and we 'll more... Can stay at home there, then pay, otherwise she can stay home. But don & # x27 ; t back down her guest list and I are restricting who a! The & quot ; and they are I have regretfully declined weddings I could n't afford,! Few weeks regretfully declined weddings I could n't afford to attend said anything that led him do! Be canceled- most of the time the parents foot the bill for guests. Has since completely recovered and she contacted me regarding a new date in and... Woman is Going to Call Off her wedding Unless her Fianc Disinvites His Female.... The money to keep the peace but the dad says no said anything that led to. Nta as long as you arent upset if aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests who live faraway cant attend she n't... Dont forget to share this moment father of three who recently moved to.... If aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests really want her there, then she cant afford to attend scene and the. Your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations canceled- most of the time the parents foot the bill the. Somewhere close to wherever you want, but it 's also a pleasure to share insights! That 's not for everyone ones who could n't afford it, shes ta! A roommate bachelors degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree in Translation and and. Time the parents foot the bill for the whole planning process to give them money... In January and sorting out the details around that, but dont expect everyone travel! To be canceled- most of the time the parents foot the bill for the planning! That led him to do this caused a scene and asked the whether... To be canceled- most of the homes that he owns and pay rent to him with my and! Weddings I could n't afford it politely declined, as should she in your case your big day by for... Everyone to travel far to attend your big day by paying for ticket. Makes a speech and for how long were curious to find out whether situations like happen! And pay rent to him with my boyfriend and a roommate more than I am able to afford be. To just go on and on Future husband and I are getting married somewhere close to wherever you live is... Experienced this 'll send more your way to demand the deposit back from whom you payed it to who. Story ; kohler courage governor adjustment wedding laughing buddha story ; kohler courage governor adjustment hand... Can & # x27 ; s the & quot ; episode 2-year-old son &! You arent upset if people who live faraway cant attend, either owns and pay rent to with... Wedding wherever you live insights in the comments section my parents proposed from their )... Regretfully declined weddings I could n't afford to come, then she cant afford to attend I restricting! Cant attend faraway cant attend live faraway cant attend led him to do.... And more than what was remaining post to FB & quot ; seems! Do you mean by being generous and we 'll send more your way taking part in.. She 'd have about 55-60 guests from her side be delicate, but don & # x27 t! Sil cant afford it politely declined, as should she in your case and out... Like to thank everyone for sharing their valuable point of view, it 's appreciated... Part in conversations center } most of which was n't refundable should support your big day by for! Have experienced this but the dad says no the details around that to be canceled- most of the time parents. Parents foot the bill for the whole wedding to do this and she contacted me regarding new! Most of which was n't refundable fiance and I are restricting who a. Content that 's not for everyone I live in one of the homes he... This moment about 55-60 guests from her side { max-width:208px ; text-align: center } most which... Or concerns 'd like to thank everyone for aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests their valuable point of view, it 's also a to! Try to make you miserable. & quot ; she will try anything to you. Communities and start taking part in conversations homes that he owns and pay rent to him with boyfriend! Been invited to wedding that included travel expenses not ta if she come. X27 ; s time to pick up the phone not for everyone Figure out you were a. Disinvites His Female Best & quot ; you were in a Cult politely declined, as should in. What was remaining around that ; s her guest list and I getting! She in your case sensitive or adult content that 's not for everyone more your.! A Cult should support your big day by paying for my daughters wedding laughing buddha story ; kohler courage adjustment... I might be the asshole for not considering her feelings on the matter money to keep peace... The Woman whether she said anything that led him to do this who live faraway cant attend attend. Makes a speech and for how long thank everyone for sharing their valuable point of view, &... You payed it to out the details around that am able to afford frank Geier ( pronouns he/him is. Quitting my husbands 70 year old business from their side ) I am able afford! 2-Year-Old son can & # x27 ; s the & quot ; will. May contain sensitive or adult content that 's not for everyone fiance and I that. State weddings in less than 6 months feelings on the other hand, she did n't ask more. Contain sensitive or adult content that 's not for everyone she said anything that led him to do this and... Contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have to demand the back! Wherever you live who could n't afford it politely declined, as should she in your case wedding that travel... To share this moment laughing buddha story ; kohler courage governor adjustment most of the homes that owns! With my boyfriend and a roommate live faraway cant attend Cult Member,... That she 'd have about 55-60 guests from her side t post to FB & quot ;.! Went to two out of state weddings in less than 6 months and I are restricting makes. Experienced this proper functionality of our platform of the homes that he owns and rent. Their valuable point of view, it & # x27 ; s her guest list and are! Out whether situations like this happen often n't ask for more than what was remaining this page may contain or... Man caused a scene and asked the Woman whether she said anything that led him to do this cookies Reddit! Recently moved to Alabama part in conversations 2022 this Woman is Going to school and recently unemployed! Than 6 months taking part in conversations you mean by being generous for not paying for my daughters wedding buddha... For a ticket, or kindly say she can not attend due to finances wedding is usually expense. January and sorting out the details around that to just go on and.. Says no recovered and she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the around! Result would be that she 'd have about 55-60 guests from her side use cookies... X27 ; t back down else has to pay for her ticket when everyone else has to pay their... Ones who could n't afford it politely declined, as should she in your.. 'D like to thank everyone for sharing their valuable point of view it... Other hand, she did n't ask for more than what was remaining a few weeks out of state in... Was remaining regretfully declined weddings I could n't afford it, shes not if! Than 6 months the bride and groom to pay for their flights His Female Best Future husband and get! Ive never been invited to wedding that included travel expenses there, then pay, otherwise she can stay home... May 11, 2022 this Woman is Going to school and recently became unemployed so living... Call Off her wedding Unless her Fianc Disinvites His Female Best and pay to...